The Way it is

Sometimes I just don't understand how life really works, and maybe that's just it. We aren't supposed to understand.

Two rabbits became sick at the same time with similar symptoms. No cause, no reason, they just stopped eating and drinking. One of them was a 'spare' and so I went to no special lengths. I normally have a no intervention rule with them, they live or they die according to nature's intent. The other rabbit, however, was the favorite son of a lost sire. A nice looking prodigy with promise in his every look. I broke my rule and went to some lengths to save him. He passed away a few minutes ago, and I am reminded of why I created the 'no intervention' rule in the first place. Because then the guilt sets in, "did I do enough, try enough, try often enough, did I do too much." Those kinds of thoughts can eat away at you, so much so that small voices begin a debate in your head: "maybe I'm not cut out for this, maybe it was my fault, maybe I should sell out of that breed entirely." And of course the ever-present, "is it really worth it in the end?"

I went down to feed the other rabbits, because they had nothing to do with his loss, and I checked on the other sick rabbit. He appears to be more active and may perhaps be recovering. So why did they get sick? Why did one recover and one was lost? Why was it the 'spare' that made it and the 'favorite' did not? Why? Why?? Why???

The truth that every breeder and human being must eventually come to face and either accept or reject, and to reject is to go mad, is that there truly is never any rhyme or reason for death. Even medical science cannot explain the inexplicable, why one person (or rabbit) will improve and another will not given the exact same treatment measures. However as breeders, we are often closer to death than most average people. Any new breeder than cannot accept that should not continue to raise animals and likely will either begin to accept the consequences or leave the hobby.

As for me, I'll simply say, "goodbye beautiful Copper. Your life had barely begun, your future so bright. I will miss you and what you might have brought to my herd."

And now I will start again.