"What Mom Says"

I'm coming to discover that when you have multiple teens in the house, everything you say can and will be distorted, sometimes in the extreme.  I can't really say that it's really a fault or blame type of situation.  Teenage brains are just equipped to operate differently than either children or adult brains.  It's scientific fact!!  Of course, at this age I wonder if really it doesn't have more to do with a slight disconnection of their ears to their brains!  I believe the common term for it is "selective hearing" and apparently, my voice and those of moms everywhere suddenly become the range that teens simply cannot hear.  For example:

What mom says: "Clean your room."
What teenager hears: "Wait until most of your belongings are scattered around and your room can no longer be entered without stepping all over everything."

What mom says: "You need to do your laundry."
What teenager hears: "Don't worry about cleaning your clothes! You can always just pick things up off the floor and sniff them to check to see if they smell too bad to wear just one more time!"

What mom says: "Please don't use this new special mug I bought."
What teenager hears: "Feel free to use it whenever there are no other clean mugs."

What mom says: "Be home at your curfew time."
What teenager hears: "Come home at least 10 minutes later or longer.  Heck who needs curfews!"

What mom says: "Keep an eye on your younger siblings."
What teenager hears: "Stare at the television, read a book, or listen to music all you want.  It doesn't matter what the little kids are doing."

What mom says: "I'm going out shopping.  Want to come along?"
What teenagers hear: "I'm going out shopping.  Want to come along?"

LOL