Strange and Melancholy Mood

No doubt about it, today is shaping up to be... well, depressing. After losing Little Red last night, I decided not to get anymore chickens. My remaining hen doesn't really like the rooster, so I can expect to see no chicks this spring from them. As such, I'm probably going to give the pair of them away, and the guinea cock as well, if I can catch him. I also have not heard back from a breeder I contacted about a Holland Lop doe. I've spoken to a few different ones now, but this doe was by far the most superior of any I've looked over so far. Someone said, "well maybe she's just busy." but I'm not so sure that's the case.

See, this breeder and I have a long history, and not necessarily a good one. Many years ago, when I was still young and new to rabbits, I played around with developing a new breed, a dwarf velveteen lop (DVL for short). At the time, I didn't realize there already was a breed like this being worked on called Mini Plush Lop (MPL). Anyway, I needed some dwarf lops and I went to this breeders home to look at her available rabbits. I ended up picking out a decent, long-eared doe and a buck. She wasn't originally going to give me the pedigrees, but I convinced her that I wanted them for history. So she did. I never did get any actual babies from either rabbit, and I never showed them either, but when the breeder saw me at shows and showing a Holland Lop (from a different breeder), I guess she assumed I had somehow tricked her. It was nothing of the sort, but it took a long time of careful patience for me to convince her that I was sincere in wanting to be a breeder. She eventually became civil towards me again, she even congratulated me when one of my rabbits beat hers on the show tables once (it was a fluke and wouldn't have happened if the judge had been any good). In spite of that, I just cannot seem to get her to return my e-mails on this other doe. I can only hope she wouldn't let an ancient grudge get in between a good sale and the betterment of a breeder's stock (namely my own). I suppose I could look elsewhere for stock from her lines, but it would be so much easier if I could just purchase directly from her, even though she's rather pricey, usually her stock are worth the cost. Plus the fact that she lives very close to me is a huge bonus for me.

Also, it's depressing because it's Monday again, and I still haven't had any hint of any job offers. I'm starting to look at alternatives, entry level positions that perhaps won't make a lot of money, but might help keep us afloat until something better comes along.

Why is it whenever life seems like it might, just might, be getting easier, something will come along and slap you right back down again. Why do the poor always seem to stay poor no matter what they try to do to get out of the hole?! If anyone has an answer, I'd dearly love to know.